Soul
by PinkWhirlWind
Summary: This was written first, and it's not finished, but comes six years after Back Story 1. It's also part of Duo 21. It's BIG! Several chapters, but only a few people read my junk, and well, they're pretty tolerant.
1. Chapter 1

Parts of a Soul

By Nix Winter

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. The Boys are just helping me out.

"The war was ten years ago," he said, his voice calm as only Duo Maxwell's voice could be in the face of an angry Heero Yuy. "You don't have to be here."

Duo wore a battered gray sweat shirt, jeans. At twenty-five there was the sharpest glimmer of silver at his temples. He sat in a titanium chair with wheels. Gloved hands rocked the wheels.

Heero wore a Preventer's uniform and a gold ring on his left hand. "When did you lose your legs? You didn't tell me."

"Yeah? Well, it was like six years ago and I was a little laid up for a while, it didn't seem real important. Heero, what do you want?"

Pale, Heero's ice blue eyes stared accusingly at his former lover. "Six years. Was it before I married or after?"

"Does it matter," Duo asked, turning around, his wheels crunching against the gravel along the garden path. "Heero, go home."

"Duo," Heero said, "Duo, please."

"I have nothing for you, Heero," Duo said, moving towards his small house. "I gave you everything I had when I let you go."

"I'll go back to Earth," Heero said, his voice just slightly wavering.

Duo turned, rocking his chair enough that he tipped back just a little. Questioningly, he took in the faint shadows under Heero's eyes, the freshly pressed uniform, not at all like a man just off a shuttle and off duty. "Did you kill 'Lena?"

"No." Heero said it straight faced, like 'No, didn't pick up the milk.'

The answer was so small, just a flutter against what had to be a bigger story. "You didn't just wander to my place by accident? Just kind of go out and forget to go home to the presidential suite?"

"No." Another little flutter.

"Stay for dinner?" Duo rubbed his trigger finger. "Come on, make yourself useful and push me into the kitchen."

"Push you?"

"Yeah, there's a bar at the back of my new gundam here, so you put your hands there and make like gentle thrusters." Duo grinned and felt... Good. It came as a surprise, this feeling good. Not that he didn't in his life, because up until the last few weeks, he'd been doing fine. "Damn, Heero, it is good to see you!"

"Really?"

"Do I lie? Have you ever known me to lie?" Duo held out a glove and dirt covered hand, watching Heero's eyes. "Heero, what's wrong?"

"Tell me if I do this wrong?" Heero, hero of the world, husband to the world sphere president, full grown man with shadows still of the predatory boy solider he'd been.

"You can pilot large lethal weapons, but you can't push a wheelchair?" Duo leaned back, smiling at Heero upside down.

Heero's smile was small, thin, but it inspired a brighter grin in Duo. Together they crossed Duo's small garden. Tomatoes basked in the warm light of L2's artificial sun. The same light put hints of gold and red in Duo's hair, made that touch of silver dance like little fae angels.

The house claimed two stories and a basement that Duo was wild proud of. It had four bedrooms, one of which was Duo's. One was a guest room that Hilde and her husband often shared. One had been Maggie's before she'd gone off to college and one was Alex's. It was white washed with blue shutters like the ones Duo had seen on a house in Oregon once. He'd bought it before the accident, adopted both his daughters before the accident.

"Duo?" Heero asked, leaning close. "You are having respiratory distress."

"Yeah, trouble breathing, inhaler, fridge," Duo said, pointing at a black box that might have been something else in it's life before it was Duo Maxwell's refrigerator.

Heero crossed the room in three steps, head held high, and he was the Heero Duo had know before. The inhaler was marked clearly, nothing else around it on the shelf and Heero had it and was back before Duo realized that the attack was bad enough to be causing dark sparkles at the edge of his vision. A strong hand at the back of his head, his own shaking hand worked his inhaler and he let Heero hold him. The rough of the preventer uniform, the scent of Heero on the shirt under the jacket, warm, strong, perfect, everything Duo longed for.

He hadn't expected to have Heero lean close, lips brushing his, as soon as he pulled his inhaler away. "No, you don't need the medicine," Duo said, but Heero lingered, warm lips against his.

"I want to kiss you, in case you disappear and I lose you again," Heero whispered, wet falling from Heero's cheek to Duo's.

The inhaler slipped to the floor and Duo reached up to touch Heero's face, to smear a tear across his face. His other hand caught hold of Heero's perfect uniform and pulled him closer, as close as he could get him and they joined tongues moving around each other, re-bridging intimacy that had turned to dust, waking it from embers that would never extinguish. Heero's arms went around Duo's back, and he lifted him easily, holding him with a gentle strength that came from being truly present. On gundanium legs, shaky, Duo stood, but left his balance and well-being to Heero. His strength was in the kisses he drove, licks, pulls, his hands in Heero's hair. Time had stopped for both of them, long ago and only now resumed.

Breath ragged again, Duo pulled back just enough to look into Heero's eyes. "I love you."

"Can I stay? I'll make myself useful," Heero promised, his voice almost fearful.

"You can stay, Heero, you were always welcome, always wanted. The house is even in your name as well as mine."

"Really."

"We've been over this, solider boy, I don't lie," Duo said, hands reaching for his chair, which he hadn't locked. Heero set him down carefully, leaning over to look into his violet eyes.

"I don't want to lie anymore either. I love you."

Chapter Two

"Cat," Duo said, "I need some help."

"About time," Quatre said, smiling across the vid screen. He was still petite, still like a wolf in such good sheep's clothes that a person couldn't believe there were teeth in there. Time had touched him, teeth or no. He and Trowa had built a new station and it had become much more profitable, sustainable that his father's. A hippy hive, but Quatre looked happier every time Duo talked to him. A streak of blue in his hair, but then his welcoming smile turned serious. "But I have to tell you some news. It's important."

"Heero's here. He seems okay. What the hell happened?"

"Do I live on Earth? It's not clear what happened, but the diplomatic whispers are that he had another breakdown and threatened Relena's life before disappearing from under the noses of the Earthsphere security. Word is that he took off with something valuable enough for Relena to put him at the top of the wanted list. Duo, he might be dangerous. I'm not thinking about you, but about your kids."

"You should have seen him when he saw my legs," Duo said. "I thought his head was going to fly off. I can't believe he didn't know. I know shit is more welcome than me, but didn't you all or Wu ever tell him?"

"Duo, I'm an empath. I knew he still loved you and was unhappy where he was, so no, I never mentioned the accident. I'm sorry. I figured you'd tell him if you wanted him to know. "

"I tried. Cat, I don't want to let him go again. He's not dangerous. He's just lost."

"I think he really tried to kill Relena. Duo, she shot him."

"So she says. He didn't seem to be bleeding when he got here." Duo reached down with both hands and pulled his leg back onto the footrest. "Cat, thanks."

"You going to let me fix those legs one of these days? What you've got isn't working and how is the Straders?" Straders was a virus that could settle into the lining of the lungs, causing ashma like symptoms. It wasn't fatal and the cure cost more than rebuilding two legs. It also increased the risk of such reconstruction.

"It's okay. We're safe here. What are they going to do? Rip apart L2?"

"Whatever Heero stole, it's very important."

"I'll look into it." There was a pause, a vulnerability in Duo's eyes. "We've be welcome? All of us?"

"Always! But Duo, I love you, you know, but Heero was very invested in Relena and the peace of the Earthsphere. Don't get too attached. He'll go back."

"Yeah? Well, I'm not going to live forever and I want my moments too. I'm a selfish bastard. She said so."

"Duo, go to bed, please. You're getting upset and that'll cause an attack," Quatre urged.

"I'm not that damn fragile," Duo complained, smiling teasingly. "I'm not the one whose hair is turning blue!"

"Oh that! Trowa though it would be attractive. Is it?"

"Oh yeah, you're hot, you hippy." Duo gave Quatre a huge grin and a thumbs up before waving, and closing the connection.

"How often do you have trouble breathing," Heero asked ask Duo turned his chair. Heero stood in the doorway, wearing just his slacks which were not quiet as pressed as before, and his shirt, button open at the collar. "I'm sorry I was angry earlier. I just, I hadn't expected…."

"Expected what? To be taller than me?"

"No, I expected that," Heero said, his smile slightly sad.

In the war, they'd never really teased each other, never really had time. There were moments of intimacy, sharp and sweet and lost to all reality, and then there were moments of stealth and rushing and never knowing if you'd see your lover again. They were both too old to slip back into what had been, but the bridge between them held, refusing to fall away into the canyon of what a man did to survive. "Are you teasing me?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a bullet hole in you somewhere?"

"Yes."

"Heero, my god, what in the hell is going on?"

That was one thing that time did give them, maybe, a sense of truth, of urgency to facing and finding whatever could really be had.

"Relena wanted a child. I didn't. I can't say why I didn't. I'd done just about everything else she wanted. Her vision for creating a better world where no child would die in war again was so beautiful. I wanted that world to exist."

"It's not hard to make a child, Heero. Just fuck your wife and it usually comes along on it's own." Bitterness edged Duo's words, lacing the present back to his own sense of lose.

"I didn't realize what love was then, when I left you. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, the war gave us all our own problems, didn't it," Duo said, moving his chair the side of his bed, where a ladder like railing stretched between the floor and ceiling.

"Five days ago, she told me she'd created two embryos. Her ovum and my sperm. I don't know how she got my sperm. Duo, I didn't sleep with her."

"Why are you telling me this? Heero, she's your wife. Why'd you marry her?"

"Because she asked me too," Heero said, squatting down, and then, the hall light at his back, he really could have been the boy he'd been in the war.

Sympathy, caring, understanding all rose in Duo, for two boys who'd done things no one ought to. "I should have asked you first."

"Wish you had."

"I thought I had. I just, I guess I didn't say it loud enough. So, it's a free world. You don't want to be married anymore, just take of the ring, send it back, file for divorce. It's not difficult. Hilde's done it twice since I've had this place." It was one thing to tell Quatre he wasn't going to let Heero go. It was another to feel all the angry and betrayal and love all mixed together when he was looking at his lover.

"It's not that simple. If I divorce her, it will hurt her credibility. The stability of the government will be at risk."

"That's bullshit," Duo spat, peeling his shirt off, comfortable in Heero's presence just as he always had been. "If the truth hurts someone, it's probably good pain for them. Madam President can suck it up and spin it how she likes. Besides, would it be that bad for there to be a little Heero? I bet he'd be cute as a bunny in flowers."

"I stole the babies. I," Heero said, sinking farther down, head against the door frame. "You know about raising children. You can raise them."

"Embryos aren't babies, Heero," Duo said. "Heero, come here. I want to see where you got shot. I know you're damn good at fixing your own stuff, but I want to see. Are you at any risk?"

"No, just muscle and skin, no internal organs," Heero said and he was already moving towards Duo though. "

Duo's room was small, no windows. It looked like a sweeper berth, even if the house was an old saltbox style. The bunk was metal with a nice frame, and back to the door was his computer table. Clean, empty, and Heero knelt down in front of Duo, whose hands moved already to pet and sooth, comb through soft brown hair. "It's alright, Heero. You're safe here. Really safe. I love you."

Head on Duo's lap, Heero could feel the slender poles where leg used to be. Arms wrapped around both of the gundanium replacements, Heero cried. "I don't want to be used anymore! I just want to be free. I don't want to be anyone's reason."

Rubbing Heero's back, Duo comforted as best he could, keeping his breathing as steady as he could. "After Marimeia I should have asked you to come back here with me. I wanted to. I just… listen, it's in the past. The world can get on by itself. I need you. Can I be your reason for being here?"

"I don't want to use you," Heero said, lifting his head, blue eyes sparkling. "I love you. Can't I just stay because I want to?"

"Of course," Duo said, a finger moving over Heero's lips, even as Quatre's warning haunted the back of his head. Heero would stay. He would. "Sleep with me tonight? There's room for two."

"Yeah," Heero said, smiling again, a kind of smile Duo had never seen, free, wreckless for Heero, full of life. "Can I lift you into bed?"

"Whatever makes you happy," Duo said, wrapping both arms around Heero's neck.

"Do you want to take off your pants?"

"No," Duo said, rushing. "Leave them on. I don't want you to see my legs."

"Okay," Heero said, slightly hurt, but soon, they were both laying on Duo's bed, Heero's arms wrapped around Duo, wearing just their pants and when they drifted off to sleep, it was the best sleep either of them had had in nearly a decade.

Chapter Three

Who he could have been and the way the world might have gone simmered in Duo's thoughts as he lay, keeping his breathing slow and deep, as if he were still sleeping. Heero's arm stretched under his neck, his other arm rested on his side, palm against bare skin. Without stress, lips parted, dark lashes against his face, he was a prince, a dark sable and ivory rose, and Duo knew Heero wanted to be exactly where he was.

They'd done many darker things in their pasts than breaking up a marriage. Duo didn't want to feel guilty for it. The images of Heero and Relena in the press though; Duo felt as if he almost knew the first family. The beautiful prince, knight and hero of the world, and the lady president, polished and perfect, and how caring they both worth were, smoothing out the conflicts of the world. He'd stolen Cinderella's Prince Charming. When he took a deep breath, Heero's blue sky eyes opened. Blue diamonds, hard and still so lost. "I'm okay," Duo said. "I'm really okay most of the time. I was just surprised to see you yesterday."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No," Duo soothed, "Not at all." He reached up and touched Heero's lips with the tips of his fingers, calloused and smooth to soft and warm. "So what are you going to do with your embryos?"

"I don't know. I just… I just didn't want my children to have my life. When I found out… it was like, I could see them being paraded and groomed to be whatever the world needed, having to marry and love someone because it entertained and soothed the world, and I remembered when I was very young and I was just a tool, then I realized that that's all I still was. Just a tool, and I ran away." Halting at first, his words had picked up steam and poured out of him. "I didn't, I wouldn't really have killed her, but I was so angry. I just, I just wanted my babies."

"You gonna get an upgrade to a womb?"

"I have tentative plans."

"Oh, my God," Duo pushed himself up, on hand reaching for the metal triangle above his bed the other smashing down his pillow. "Oh my god." The image of a very pregnant Heero in his mind was only made worse by the pink maternity top he saw in his head, and Heero blue eyes full of smile and hope, and gods, that did something to Duo that not a damn thing had done in ten years. "I'm such a pervert. OH my god."

"What?" Heero asked shifting up onto his elbow. "You're blushing and your body heat just shot up. Does the idea of my being pregnant excite you sexually?"

"OH My God," Duo squawked. "I can't do that anymore. Not since the accident. Nerve damage, or something." Over his bed there were monkey bars that he traveled down, then across, moving towards his chair. "Out of the way. Time to rise and shine. Lots to do. My kids are coming home today. Gotta do the dishes."

"I read all the reports last night, before I came to see you. There was no damage to your sexual reproductive system. Your doctor thought it was part of a depressive complex, surrounding your accident and recent history."

"You talked to my doctor?" Duo asked as he hung from the edge railing, trying to think how to pull his legs over without looking or sounding clunky to Heero. "Or, shit, you broke into the hospital's records and read my doctor's notes."

"I was short of information," Heero said, enough grace to look slightly ashamed.

"And short of morals," Duo said, without any real bite in it as one of Heero's hands started at his knee, above the amputation on that side and glided lightly up towards his waist and a certain surprise that Duo wasn't sure he wanted to deal with just then. "Oh, god, Heero."

"I can help with that. I have thought of wanting to help with that so many times since the last time."

"Yeah, well, damn, uh, Heero," Duo whispered, wanting very much for Heero to cup his hand right over his zipper, to pull him down and make the choice for them both. Heero had never been willing to make the final choice on sex though, not until Duo gave him permission. Duo had sexual assaults in his history and Heero knew it, respected it, and in all his life, Heero was the only one to get past all of Duo's triggers, all of his walls. "Touch me, damn, Heero, are you going to go back to Relena? Are you going to leave me?"

"I am here now," Heero said, his thumb finding the head of Duo's cock through the worn denim, massaging lightly and that was still enough feel the pre-cum spotting Duo's shorts. "I might need to take off your jeans though, if I were going to get my mouth around you."

"Oh God, there is that. Heero, it's ugly. Bad. Worse on one side than it is on the other. My prosthetics are implants. Before the Straders, we were working on rebuilding them. The gundanium is fused with bone, and it's not pretty. Heero, shit, I don't want you to see."

"Fine," Heero said, not telling that he'd already see photos, both pre and post op, "I wouldn't look. I wouldn't look at your legs until you've finished with the reconstruction and your toes can feel my kisses the way they used to. You used to almost purr when I kissed your ankles. It was completely worth getting you out of those combat boots."

Duo gave in and let Heero pull him down on to the bed, let Heero's strong legs push his down towards the foot of the bed so he was laying on Heero, excitement to excitement. Resting on his elbows, his braid laying by them, brown bangs mussed and soft around his face, they might have been lifetimes away from the reality of the world. "At least I'm not the only one that's turned on by the image of you in a pink maternity top."

"Is that so?" Heero rolled them then, tangled in sheet and desire. "For me, it was the sight of those pink nipples all hard and just begging to be kissed. You blush so pretty and I remember how loud you get when my cock is in your ass. Do you still like me to talk like that?"

"Oh, god," Duo groaned, wishing he could hook a leg around Heero's and press his knee into Heero's ass, push them together. "Yes, I like it. I want to be a scared virgin in my prince's control. I want you to be my prince, always, god, Heero, please don't leave me again."

"Shhhh," Heero purred, breath warm against Duo's ear, body hard and warm over Duo's. "I don't ever want to leave you again. Never."

"Dad!" Alex gasped, her voice sounding like a white ghost, a vacuum breech maybe. "Dad? What are you doing?"

Duo tilted his head back to see. Heero froze as if he'd just been found by Oz soldiers. The girl in the door way was fourteen, in baggy pants and a tee-shirt that read, 'No. I don't like you.' Her hair was short enough to almost count as velvet, but her eyes were violet and hard as afterburner heat. "Who the hell are you," she demanded, locking eyes with Heero.

"I am Heero Yuy," he said, suddenly naïve and sweet the way only Heero could really pull off.

"The president's missing husband? OH my god! Dad! Are you screwing the First Gentleman?"

"Not at the moment," Duo said, regretfully. "Ally. Can you give us a moment? Please? We'll be down in a moment."

"OH sure! Great, no problem! I'll just wait in the kitchen while you single handedly bring about the end of peace! You're so selfish!"

Duo threw an arm over his eyes, to hide from both his lover and his kid for a bit. "Yeah, violet eyes. She's not mine though. Lots of people on L2 have violet eyes. Go get me a shirt from the closet?"

"She seems like yours," Heero said, moving gracefully off the bed.

"Yeah, well, she lost her parents in the war, no surprise, and she was found in suspended animation. I adopted her, and she's had a pretty good life. I'm all she's ever known."

"Well, One would think she'd treat you better then," Heero said, thumbing through Duo's shirts.

"She's okay. Just growing up. You and I never got to do that. Can you imagine saying that to our Doctors? Or even Howard?"

"I can imagine it. I liked my memories though. Retraining was unpleasant."

"You don't say. You got a cute ass."

"Really," Heero said, grinning as he tossed a basic blue tee-shirt. "Duo. I'm happy."

"Damn shame that's a big surprise," Duo said, pulling his shirt on, readying himself to face his kid. It wouldn't be long until Maggy came home for a visit either, not with this news.

Chapter Four

Relena's morning was simply a little more night. She wore a dark blue suit and enough skillfully applied make up that it could nearly have been any other day. It wasn't any other day though. Fear drove her actions as she searched for any sign of Heero. She had hurt him, and while she didn't understand how she had done that, she had.

Relena Darlian-Peacecraft had two abiding goals in her heart. One was to see the world peaceful and prosperous, all people given a chance to pursue their dreams in health and safety. The other was to protect and nurture Heero Yuy. He had saved her life and saved the world so many times and yet, no matter how many years she spent in his company, she knew she did not understand him well. The pain of his early life seemed always with him.

He had vowed never to kill again and she had helped him with that in all the ways she could. When he'd broken down after the end of the Marimaia affair, she'd kept him safe and secluded, hidden from the media and anyone else who might use or damage him.

The doubt and pain had faded from him and he'd become a gallant hero prince, gliding across the dance floor of politics with her. He cared about the people of the Earth sphere as much as she did. It was all so distant and passionless, looking at their marriage this way.

"Madam," Frinne said and she became aware of him by her desk. Blond, elegant in black and white, he held a silver tray with a her favorite mocha, wisps of steam rising from it. "Your coffee."

"Good morning, Frinne," she said, clicking on the privacy screen over her computer out of habit. "Is there any news?"

"No, Madam, but one station is carrying a story speculating that the first Gentleman has returned to the company of a previous lover."

"That's so ridiculous. Heero had no lover before me. I wish they would consider what they are saying. It's all such sensationalism, and such bad timing with the Middle East lands in such tension right now."

"Madam, it is not my way to speak out of place, but may I suggest taking a moment to view the first waltz after the wedding. I believe that is the clip which is currently gaining airtime."

"They're broadcasting our wedding waltz? On the news?" Relena reached for her coffee, cheeks bright. "Of all the nerve."

"Madam may wish to watch the clip prior to going to her morning appointments."

"Thank you Frinne," she said picking up the disk from the tray he'd set down.

She remembered the day so clearly. They'd saved the Earthsphere. Heero was well, strong. He rode everyday, took a keen interest in politics, strode through the halls of her home as if he were born to nobility. The only event that marred those days was when Duo Maxwell had crashed a motorcycle through her living room in a drunken fit.

All of the pilots were heroes, treasures of the people, and Maxwell had had his own crash, the same way Heero had. She had paid his medical bills, never pressed charges for the horrible things he'd said to her that day. Heero had been so confused and lost for weeks after that, but with careful protection, he had again returned to flourishing.

Being lost was the worst way to be. She had her convictions and she had to work towards peace, the well-being of all her people, and she had Heero to stand by her side while she did it. Research into Maxwell's history made her love him as well, for his courage and his compassion. She had spoken firmly with him though. Heero had found his place, did he not see? Duo just needed something of his own so that he could heal. She bought him a house, would have given him almost anything he wished, but all he had wanted was a place for children to live and study on L2.

She had also helped his writing career. Maxwell was doing so well. All he'd needed was a little help. Wufei had found his help with Sally and Trowa and Quatre between themselves, they were doing well. Perhaps it was just easier to think about accomplishments than look at a moment no longer private.

Of course, they'd released specific clips to the media after their wedding, but somehow she had a feeling this was more than something tidied up and passed around.

The first image was her, in her wedding dress, soft lace around her throat, over her arms like ivory wishes, beautiful around her, flowing from her veil. Toffee blond hair brushed against her face in ringlets. The blush on her cheeks was all her own, with just the slightest gloss on her lips. She looked up and he was there, dark brown hair, neat and his blue eyes so considerate and patient with her, his face so calm. He wore a simple tuxedo, and yet on him, it seemed the way all tuxedos should be made, polished and fitting.

He'd taken her hand. She could remember his white gloved hand sliding along her satin gloved wrist, taking her hand, his other hand at the small of her back, and then they were floating. He had such perfect timing, and she could give herself to him without any concern, no matter how many people watched. She closed her eyes and all the worry and work of the war disappeared. It was one of the happiest moments of her entire life.

When her father had died, being taken prisoner, the fall of her kingdom, since she'd met him, fate had brought them to this moment.

Mouth dry, she pressed play, and there they were on the polished wood floor. She fluttered like a virgin just out of school, a fairytale princess in white and sparkles. His eyes moved somewhere over her should, up. She paused and rewound. Yes, when she'd been watching his hand, he'd been looking at something, or someone else.

The music started and they moved, the crowd around them cheering, but Heero's eyes lingered in the same direction. As they moved through the flow of their first married waltz, she laid her head on his chest, let him hold her, and every time they made the circuit, his eyes were looking in the same direction. His head didn't move so much. It was hard to see at first, unless you knew Heero well, unless you were looking for it.

The person shooting the unauthorized footage noticed it though and the camera shifted from them, following Heero's line of vision, and there, in all black, even black sunglasses stood Duo Maxwell. He gripped the railing as if he were going to break it's neck. The camera zoomed in and there, so small wet and thin, the tear left its mark on Maxwell's cheek.

Relena covered her mouth, eyes wide, a scream rising in her throat, pushed up by the breakfast she hadn't eaten. Heero, on their very wedding day had been more connected to Duo Maxwell than to her. If he wanted Duo so badly, why hadn't he just said so? Why had he said he'd marry her?

He loved her! He did! They were going to work together always and their children would follow after them!

Puzzle pieces were falling into place though. Maxwell, the night he'd been drunk, he'd called Heero a whore and her a thief. He'd said worse things. He'd suggested she was trying to create a cult and she had a god complex. He'd been very very drunk though, and had only moments before the medical workers took him to the hospital.

At the time she assumed Heero had not tried to defend her because Maxwell had been his friend and neither of them had been in any danger from the drunken teenager. Looking back now, maybe it hadn't been shame and pity on Heero's face, but guilt. Guilt?

That put everything in a new light. What if Heero weren't impotent.. but homosexual?

"Frinne," she said.

He was there in a moment, alerted by the wireless communications device he wore. "Madam?"

"Cancel my appointments today. Contact Dr. J again for me. I find myself in need of his special form of assistance."

"Yes, Madam."

She leaned back in her chair, hands over her face. She had been deserted, again. Her chest hurt and she thought she might never eat again. Life had been taken and the rational and diplomatic part of her knew there could be a solution that would bring peace and satisfaction to all of them. There always was, if people would just give a little.

The scorned and hurt heart in her knew that there were at least two ways to have Heero, have him adore her, and never have to share with a perverted little cripple who contributed nothing of worth to the world.

Not even she knew which part would win.

Chapter Five

Heero hadn't thought about how Duo had gotten up upstairs to his room the night before. Duo still had legs in his mind, but standing at the top of the stairs, Heero wasn't sure how they were going to get down. Duo had to have a way, though Heero mostly just wanted to pick him up and carrying him down.

Duo looked at the stairs, then up at Heero. "Okay, its usually not an issue, because, well, now that Maggie's moved out, I'm the only one on the second floor. There is another room up here though, if you want to be up here with me, but I don't want you to freak out about how I get down the stairs."

"How do you get down the stairs?" Heero asked, looking at the seemingly very normal wooden stairs, if slightly wider than a stair case might.

"Very quickly. So go down to the kitchen. You saw it when we came in. You did case the place before you showed up, right."

"Mostly. The basement was hard to gather information about."

"You know I have a basement? Damn."

"It's the density," Heero said. "You want me to wait in the kitchen for you?"

"Please?" Duo asked, reaching down to pull a safety belt from one side of the leg rest and clicking it into the other.

"You are going to kiss me again later?"

"I'll kiss you now, if you like," Heero offered hopefully.

"I can hear you!" Alex complained at the top of her lungs. "Just get down here, Heero Yuy! If he's not taking the elevator, you don't want to be in his way."

"What's she talking about?"

Duo grinned, wiggling still dark brown eyebrows. "The elevator's over there, closet door. It takes the stairs a bit to move back into place.

Heero hesitated. "What are you going to do? Duo?"

Duo grinned over his shoulder. "Cautious?" Duo wiggled his eyebrows. Heero was unstoppable when in mission mode, but this cautious, almost shy Heero was new, something Duo hadn't anticipated, but then, eyes locked with Heero's he suddenly recognized him. This was the Heero when they had their moments, hidden, breathless, lost away from the war. This was the real Heero, without darker programming. Heero smiled, a smile that just seemed to keep growing, boyish. "So, you like to fly, right?"

Heero's eyes seemed too look one way, then the other, wonder and life dancing in them. "Yes."

Duo felt so much older than the beautiful man leaning over to look in his eyes. Hope and fun, and love - it almost hurt as his heart opened up to the love that had been waiting for so long. He loved his kids, with all his heart, and he loved L2, corrupt bitch of a home that it was. He even loved his garden and his stories that he wrote, but Heero, loving Heero was like loving himself, like his soul opened up just having him near. "Okay, then reach around me, hold onto the arms of my chair, put your feet on the oxygen rack at the back. It's gundanium, so I'm sure it'll old us both."

Heero's arms touched his, waking that problem he'd just put back to bed, but the shiver down his spine was delicious. Heero's chin on his shoulder, cheek to his ear, and then, "Okay, captain, does it really have thrusters?"

"Nope, it's all a gravity sling," Duo said, one gloved hand reaching out to turn a dial recessed into the white painted wall.

A moment later the stairs collapsed down on themselves, micro refinishing smooth as almost any launch pad anywhere.

"Dad! No," came the protesting cry from below, but Duo had already given his wheels a hard push.

The balance was a little like a large, ungainly motorcycle, but Heero leaned with him, held the perfect balance and guidance they'd need with the extra weight. They drifted almost all the way up the side of the slide as they went around the first corner, and then both of them leaned into it. Out of the stairs, around the living room, to drift high in the hall between the living room and the kitchen.

Alex yelled something incoherent as they passed the hall bathroom and took the long path out, over the porch, and into the garden again. The entire path would disappear in twenty minutes, restructuring back to what it had been, but for that moment, they were just gliding to a slow stop by the roses.

Heero's laughter came first, light, so full of delight, and his arms went around Duo, holding him tight. "You're amazing!"

"Want to go again?"

"Yes," Heero said. "I saw another track, in the living room."

"Didn't finish that one. Can't reach, for one thing and Maggy wasn't about to help. Have to get up a lot of speed to pull of the corkscrew."

Alex was there with them then, and Heero straightened and moved off a step so Duo would have space to turn his chair around. His smile was sheepish. "You didn't have laundry going, did you?"

Alex was a medium girl, dark hair, chocolate and Duo's twilight violet eyes, but she would have been a touch shorter than he was and her nose was straighter. Objectively, Heero could understand that she was more the ideal aesthetic than Duo was, but it just reassured him that she wasn't actually Duo's biological offspring, though, why that should have concerned him, he couldn't really tell. Her hands on her hips, she rolled her eyes. "Of course, how did you guess? That I was just back from a bio field trip that I hadn't wanted to go on anyway? If you help Dad build that ramp over the living room ceiling, I'm gonna be really angry at you."

Duo shrugged. "Allie, Chickie, this is my dear friend Heero Yuy. Please be nice to him."

Heero bowed, graceful and noble like the first gentleman should be. "It is my pleasure to meet you. I assure you I would never put Duo at risk in anyway."

"Yeah?" Alex said, eyes unforgiving. "Then what are you doing here? You know half the Earthspere is looking for you, and worse, You're bleeding."

"I am?" Heero asked reaching to touch his shoulder. "

"Oh fuck, Allie, basement!"

The girl turned and ran, Duo reached out and grabbed Heero's hand. "I wasn't really thinking. I'm sorry. Please. Follow Allie, and I'll be there in a moment. The basement is secure. Go."

Heero ran, not needing to understand why Duo was so convinced that blood could be so serious. He'd been bleeding yesterday and that hadn't brought about the end of the world, though, it had been contained by the synth-skin he'd been wearing. That had been hours ago though. He skidded on Duo's indoor launch pad and Alex reached out a hand to him, which he grabbed, in complete trust of Duo's word and judgment. The elevator he found himself in was fairly large, big enough for all manner of equipment. As soon as the doors closed, the girl looked him right in the eyes.

"Look. I'm sure you're a nice guy. Dad, wouldn't let you fly with him if you weren't, but I lost my parents before and I'm real attached to Dad. He makes me pancakes and he listens to me talk about everything. He loves me," she said, her eyes filled with tears, "And that isn't an easy thing to do. You come here with your wife chasing you, and they're going to come and hurt him too, and I'll never forgive you."

"They will not come for Duo," Heero said, meeting her accusing glare head on, "I love him too and they will look here, and then they will look elsewhere very quickly and no one will really think I have come here. I know my wife's politics very well. I would give my life to protect, Duo."

"Then where the hell have you been? Why didn't you come when he was in the hospital after his legs and all the times from those weak ass lungs of his?"

"I didn't know," Heero said, eyes finally dropping.

"Yeah? Well, I bet you didn't know that L2's scanner can pick up traces of blood in the filtration system. You'll be found if you're bleeding."

"Oh," Heero said, not sure that this could be. The last thing he wanted to admit was that he might not be completely up to par on current technology. That's what living in a palace will do to you.

Chapter six

Heero sat slumped on a chair opposite the elevator when Duo came out the elevator. "Strip, just the top half, Heero. You're going to bleed for me."

Heero looked paler. "Are you angry at me?"

Alex glared, "He ought to be, but he's not. He doesn't talk if he's mad."

"Alexanda Huges-Maxwell," Duo said sternly. "Heero, I am not angry at you"

"Dad! Did I ask him to come here! He...!"

"Stop! I love you. I love Heero. He is family. End of debate."

"Oh? I don't feel good about him being here. I feel threatened by him."

"I'll leave," Heero said, rising, the synth-skin peeling from his slender body.

"Heero, don't, please? Please don't leave me again." Duo's nose wrinkled, his eyes narrowing with tears. "Allie, please, please just give him a chance. He's in trouble, but he's a good man. He and I were in the war together."

Alex had sank to a metal bench during her Dad's plea. "Dad? But he's a Gundam pilot. Dad, you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, only a little wheeze in his words. "Black fridge. Give Heero a number one box. My fault.

Knew he was injured. Hurry."

She moved with surprisingly efficient movement for an angry fourteen year old, even if her hand did hesitate when she reached for the handle of the black refrigerator.

Back to her, hands moving over his keyboard, entering code after code, he said, "You're a big kid. Trust me."

To Heero, watching the two of them was like seeing a whole new world. The bond between them was open and honest, fallible and yet stronger than Heero had imaged parent/child connections. "Duo. I wouldn't leave you again. Don't let me, okay?"

"Oh," Alex said, holding out a small box to him, white cardboard with a 1 on the front. "Now you're married to Dad and the president?"

Heero took the box and looked her right in the eyes, unflinching truth. "Yes."

"You know that's illegal, right?"

"Just," Duo started, drew a deep breath, "like," slow ragged breath, "old times. Bleed, please."

"Hn," Heero said, watching Duo carefully as he pulled the syringe and the first tube from the box. "You are very sick. Sicker than your medical reports indicate."

"Not," wheeze, he said, smiling, "Really."

"Dad?"

Duo just held out his hand, urging Heero to hurry. His shoulders slumped, face flushed, breath short and rapid. He didn't look his best and he wasn't fast enough to stop the incoming message from Quatre. "You're moving again."

"Yes," Duo wheezed, "Wasn't thinking last night. Distracted."

"Duo where is your inhaler?" Quatre frowned at Duo, but then waved at Heero. "Hi Heero! Are you hurt badly? "

"No. My health is within acceptable parameters. Why is your hair blue?"

"Trowa likes it. It's just dye, Heero," Quatre gave his attention back to Duo, "Come visit us. We can help with certain things. Duo? Inhaler?"

"We can come," Heero said, more looking around for that bit of equipment he'd gotten out for Duo yesterday than thinking about what he as saying.

"Don't make choices for me!" Duo snapped, grabbing both vials. "I'll decide what I'm doing and," wheeze, "when."

His hand shook as he took the first vial and inserted it into an unmarked and slightly ill fitting receptacle. The metal was black, not just painted, and Heero thought he ought to recognize what it was from. "I'm sorry, Duo. I didn't mean..."

"He's going to zone out for a few minutes," Alex said. "So like, your were really one of the five gundam pilots?"

Heero watched Duo's frantic typing and password typing for another moment before giving her is attention. "Where is his inhaler?"

"He doesn't need it. If he needed it, he'd be getting it, instead of saving your ass."

"What is he doing?" Heero asked, simple request for information.

"The air filtration system senses blood. It's only a matter of time till the people looking for you realize where the traces entered the system and come for Dad. He's gonna spray your blood so thick in the system, from our old address, that they'll either look somewhere else or think its a glitch."

"Does he do this often?" Heero asked, still not sure that Duo didn't need his inhaler, also fairly concerned that a fourteen year old child would know so much about such an illegal activity.

"We're Sweepers and Uncle Howard comes by sometimes."

"What do you mean 'old address'?"

Happy to brag about her dad, she crossed her arms and grinned. "L2's addressing system is kinda vague, attached to beacons buried into the infrastructure. People rip'em out fairly often, sell them for parts. It's not unusual for the addressing matrix to change a little. The colony is pretty junked up, parts from here and there. So if you tell the computer to reassign addresses, it will. Dad used to date the guy who runs the IT department at City hall. My dad's not just derelict, you know."

"I know." Heero said it solemnly. "He's a hero and the most effective warrior I've ever known. Did you not know Duo was a gundam pilot?"

"Of course, I knew."

In a wheezy voice, Duo reprimanded, "Don't lie. Almost done. Friend of mine, gonna seed, vid of you," pause, "on Mars. The war was a long time ago. I don't wanna talk about it."

Duo locked eyes with Alex.

"You never talk about the war, Dad. Are you ashamed of what you did?"

"Long time ago," Duo said, leaning back, head tilting. "Like life with you," he said before taking a very slow breath, his hand slipping from his keyboard and desk. "Inhaler, please."

"Dad, okay," Alex said, hitting the button to open the elevator door. "Come on, Dad, if you needed, why didn't you get it sooner?"

She held his hand for a moment as she set it on his lap. "Had to fix. Heero."

"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero said, following them into the elevator.

"Heero," Duo said, reaching over his shoulder to him. "Don't."

Heero took Duo's hand in both of his, leaned to kiss his palm. "I'll make it right."

Alex looked from Heero to her Dad's head where it rested against his own arm. As the doors opened on the kitchen, Alex squeezed Duo's shoulder, but he didn't respond. "Dad?"

Duo's head fell forward and Alex ran around in front of him. "Dad? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a brat! I don't care if you're Duo Maxwell!"

Heero's fingers touched Duo's throat, checking pulse. "Bring me his inhaler."

"No, have to call Dr. Honda! Oh God," Alex cried and ran towards the com unit in the kitchen.

Heero stepped around Duo, opened the refrigerator and took out the same inhaler he'd gotten the day before. The night before he had researched Straders and all of Duo's medical records, right down to his doctor's personal record keeping, and that of nearly every other expert in the field. The disease was not lethal, unless one did not get medicine in to the lungs in a timely manner after an attack.

Heero moved close to Duo again, one hand taking hold of silky brown bangs, he pulled Duo's head back. He put the inhaler to his own lips and discharged the medicine. He sealed his mouth around Duo's, opened his mouth with his tongue and forced the mist still in his mouth into Duo's mouth, pushing so that the medicated air inflated duo's lungs. Then he moved quickly to Duo's side, one hand behind him, one hand in front and pulled off a chest compression that only the perfect soldier could pull off. He took another dose of the medicine into his own mouth, careful not to inhale it himself, then gave Duo another breath, pushing life saving medicine into Duo's fragile lungs.

And then Duo coughed back, shaking, sucking air, a hand reaching out instinctively. Heero held the contact, which turned from mouth-to-mouth into a kiss, which Duo returned as strong as he could, a hand reaching for Heero's shoulder, then his hair, then to finally land in an arm around Heero's shoulders, hugging him. Heero returned the hug, holding him close.

"Dad?"

"Allie, make some pancakes," Duo said, his voice not so wheezy. "With strawberries."

"Sure thing," she said, wrapping her arms around both of them. "Dad, I need you."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Duo said, moving to hug her. "I'm okay. I knew Heero was here."

Alex drew back just a little, looking from Heero to Duo, before smiling. "Okay, pancakes. You think we're good hidden?"

"Yes, no one will find us."

"I wouldn't let anything happen to either of you," Heero said. And he knew the best way to do that was to turn himself in, but he couldn't give back his children. He'd just have to explain things to Relena. People got divorced all the time. All the time.

Chapter Seven

"I am not such a criminal," Relena said, setting the blue lacquer pen down on her desk. "What you suggest is beyond abhorrent. Yes, I am hurt that Heero's heart found shelter somewhere other than with me, but I would never want to take his will from him. If the only way to have him is to destroy him, then I will not have him." Relena's conviction grew as she spoke.

Dr. J's assistant's smile was pure oil, a pirate just waiting for the right opening. "It's your choice, of course," she said. "I would have thought a powerful woman like you would want to have her man forever true to her, to completely own his heart."

"I do not wish to own his heart," she said, realizing as she said it, that it was the truth. She'd known what they'd offer her when she contacted them. The very words that would trigger Heero's deep seated brainwashed in programming. She could literally command him to love her, to make him happy and safe, as she'd always wanted to.

"It's a one time offer, Madam President," the assistant said, dark eyes sparkling, narrowed. "If you don't buy them from us, we might just sell them to someone else, anyway."

"You wouldn't! Doesn't Dr. J have any morals at all? I thought he loved Heero!"

"I'm sure he did," the assistant said, voice casual and yet predatory.

"Where is Dr. J?" Relena asked softly.

"Resting peacefully, Madam President," the assistant said, that Relena didn't even know the name of. "It's very nice to know that the people have such a wonderful president. That must make you very valuable."

The connection closed between them and as she stared at the black screen, she almost wished love could be so easy, just a few words and Heero would love her life.

She leaned back just a little and slipped her foot out of one brown leather flat. Heero did love her. Heero loved Duo Maxwell also. One doesn't live with a man for nearly ten years and not know really where he stands. Thinking back, maybe the children she'd wanted had been a way of cementing what she knew didn't totally have. Duo Maxwell was the missing piece in all this.

He moved center stage in her thoughts. Lovely dark brown hair, violet eyes, strong shoulders, his voice loud, but a deeper timber than Heero's, yes, if Heero loved him, she could love him as well.

Life required changes, sometimes, diplomacy. "Frinne," she said.

Moments later, Frinne entered from the servant's door. "Madam?"

"I deserve to be happy, do I not?"

"Of course, Madam," Frinne said, white gloved hands clasped lightly in front of him. "Madam has a plan?"

"If Heero's heart is not whole without Duo, than my heart shall make space for Duo as well. If I can only be near him, know that he still cares for me, be able to return to them as my schedule allows. Perhaps they would consider relocating here to Earth."

"Madam, can not even be sure that Sir has gone to be with Mr. Maxwell. There were so many reports of him in other places. The media is convinced he's on mars with, with a woman."

"He's on L2, with Duo Maxwell. If I know anything, I know this. Frinne, I don't want to do this, be president, be responsible for so much, not without Heero. I am taking an unplanned vacation. Let them say what they will."

"Madam does understand that Sir may actually be homosexual?"

"Yes," she said, standing up, both leather flats left under her desk. "I understand, but you have to understand that a heart is more than just sexual attraction. I have taken his affections for granted, and neglected his heart. I must make that up to him."

"What does Madam wish me to tell her councilors, exactly?"

"Anything you deem helpful, Frinne. I trust you." Barefoot, Relena walked away from her office, away from easy answers. Heero was more important than anything here. The people would have to look after themselves.

Chapter Eight

"I will do the dishes," Heero offered.

Breakfast had been pancakes, strawberries from the garden, eggs, also from Duo's garden, from happy little white hens that wandered around and merely looked indignant when Alex and Heero swiped the large warm eggs. Conversation had mostly been about Alex's field trip. L2 was working towards a very ambitious path, of recreating a natural environment, including a small sea. Her trip had been to the coral reef they were nursing into existence.

It seemed insane to Heero that a colony that couldn't even properly keep track of it's addresses was growing coral and dolphins. Most of the people on L2 had been born here, stuck here, and had never even seen a lake, let alone an ocean.

Heero let it go, promising himself that he'd do research on the colony, and not just what the colony released to Earthsphere After a breakfast of listening to Duo's daughter, Heero was convinced that L2 was populated by the most cunning and secretive members of the human species. He was also sure that Duo had probably dated most of the influential members of the L2 government.

Before the accident, Duo had been quite the playboy, to hear from his daughter.

"That's okay, I'll get the dishes. Dad seems pretty happy to see you. You guys should go see the roses or something."

Duo arched an eyebrow. "Okay. Thank you, Alex. Heero, we should go upstairs to my bathroom and see about treating your side, uh?"

"Oh," Heero said. "I'd forgotten about that. I, just, I guess I'm not as good as I used to be."

"No, you used to forget about major bodily damage too," Duo said, smiling. Their eyes locked, blue and violet, and all Duo could think about was how good Heero's skin would feel under his fingers. He'd never been so keen to play with bandages.

"Dad, you're blushing."

Dark chocolate eyebrows drew down, "Aren't you glad I'm not going to tell you what I was thinking about."

If it had been an anime, she would have gone chibi, big violet eyes looking from her dad, to her dad's friend, then back, and she turned her back to stalk all of ten steps to the sink. "As if, Mr. Babies-come-from-star-dust."

"Well, they do," Duo objected. "Everything does.

"This is a fact," Heero agreed, fingers touching the table close to where one of Duo's hands rested.

Duo's hand moved just a touch closer to Heero's, just to see if he were imagining things at all. Heero's little finger touched his thumb, softly caressing, and Duo's heart fluttered. In that moment he believed that Heero was really back, that he'd never leave, that Alex and Maggy would accept him into their family, that well, that moment was happily ever after. "I want to get your side looked at. It'd be my luck to get you back, and have you die of blood poisoning or some crap."

"I am not unwell," Heero said, now two fingers touching Duo's thumb.

"Me neither," Duo said, looking up at Heero. He couldn't think, hardly move, even though he knew he should. Just that touch, simply two fingers moving across his thumb and he was sure that the nerve damage that hadn't been there this morning, wasn't there now. "Allie, we're going upstairs to see about fixing Heero's side."

"Take your time. I'm not doing any schoolwork today. That okay?"

"No," Duo said, but his eyes were still lost in Heero's, even has he unlocked his chair and spun it around. "Do your school work. Paper on that trip you just got back from."

"Can I have one of your pops?"

"Yes," Duo said, wishing he could figure out how to hold Heero's hand and still move himself towards the elevator. "Getting up isn't as much fun as getting down."

Heero smiled softly. "It'll be just the two of us in the elevator, right?"

"Yeah."

"I can kiss you again?"

"Yeah," Duo said.

Maggy Maxwell kicked her dorm room door closed. She was a pretty girl, at least from the left side. The right side of her face had burn scaring that all the skin graphing that Uncle Quatre could buy wouldn't really fix it. Her right eye though was state of the art. The finest money could buy and only her dad and sister knew it wasn't organic. If a person were just looking at her eyes, she'd have been beautiful. Blue like a deep summer Earth sky with blonde hair that was cut short enough to fan around her face.

She had one more year of university left before she started her student teaching. She'd worked hard, pushing four years into three, because, well, her dad's health wasn't that hot. He'd worked hard in his life and been given the short side of everything. He had been a mechanic in the war, working with the Sweepers, which had never been fully legal. He'd even piloted a gundam, in the war, just for a while. People made such a big deal about it.

The war had been very dark for her dad. It must have been because he'd never talk about it. Even Uncle Quatre, who would talk about anything, at least once she got old enough, wouldn't talk about the war and her dad. A person's privacy, even a family member had to be respected. Her dad was her dad, and even though she knew he was Duo Maxwell, and it was always right to live in the present.

So when the mail came through on her tablet computer, as she sat down on her bed, toeing her shoes off, it was perhaps, the biggest shock of her life.

The video message started with an image of her dad, so much younger, hanging between to soldier, head bowed, feet dragging. It cut to a news clip of his arrest, the announcer sounding so pleased as behind him her father's battered face was shown for all the earthsphere to see.

She inched back into the corner, her knees drawn up, tablet computer on her knees and watched.

Military footage of a dark gundam, demonic wings, a scythe of green energy slicing through military transport ships. The battle was soundless and lasted maybe ten minutes, though it felt like an eternity to Maggy. No mercy, not a single survivor except whatever automated system recorded the image and the demonic gundam hanging in the center of the debris. Almost as if it were a living creature, the wings folded in on itself and it disappeared. The automated recorder continued to record the dead zone left behind. It wasn't just mechanical debris.

Then, a voice, so like Alex's, "Thank god the demon didn't see us. We're still stranded on this automated mining bot, but that monster didn't find us. What kind of creature fights like that. It killed the entire transport, everyone. Now we're going to die out here. Our ship, The Garnet, is still too damaged to sustain life. I'm going to try to salvage something from the carnage out there, but if we fail, this tape is going to be with our daughter."

Maggy didn't realize she was crying. The video message went on and she just watched, numb, watching an Oz interrogation of her dad. Still, so young, hardly older than Alex, and they had him on his feet, hands over his head in metal shackles, both eyes swollen shut. "You're a murderer," the unseen interrogator said, matter of factly. "Do you even care how many civilians your little stunts kill?"

"You're the one that kills people! You're the one that oppresses people!"

"Me? Personally? I just uphold the law." There was a flash of black baton and her dad screamed when it hit his hip, then thigh, then the back of his thigh. "Where is Heero Yuy?"

"Dead. You lot killed him, right? No more president?"

The baton skimmed lightly over a bruised thigh, "Not that bastard. Your lover. The one you go fuck after you've killed people."

"Don't know."

"You are a murderer. Admit it. You kill people."

"Yeah. I'm a murderer, but I don't know where Heero is."

Then there was screaming and Maggy closed her mail, shoved her computer down the bed away from her, wrapping both arms around her knees, she buried her face and wished the world still made sense.


	2. Chapter 2

Soul  
Relena's Requim 

by Nix Winter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Notes: I often try to write a very sympathetic and good Relena, but there was a fic search and well.. it made me want to write a different kind of Relena.

So that leads to…

Warnings: Very dark Relena, probably Duo injury, upset children.

Hope was her responsibility. Everyone depended on her. She owed them.

Owed them for the tea she drank and the sheets she slept on, everything. Everything came from the labor of others. For this she owed.

When her father, the only father she'd ever known, had been ripped from her, her grief had simmered, and eventually been shoved down inside of her soul, so deep that she had forgotten about it. Layered over that ached the death of her real father and mother, violence, death, the tortured soul of her brother that she could not heal and how she tried to at least carry the burden of peace as he'd wished.

Sitting in her hotel room, bare feet brushing lightly over the lush silk carpeting. Her feet barely touched the floor from where she sat. She felt so small, so abandoned.

Heero  
was  
her  
husband.

To  
have  
and  
to  
hold.

Heero's eyes, so beautiful, such blue like the summer sky. Heero at her side, holding her hand over his arm.

He had left her for Duo Maxwell.

Brash. Loud. Peasant, no concern at all for the people, Duo Maxwell was a murder, a vile and greedy creature.

Had she not given him his house, pardoned his crimes?

Relena rubbed her knuckle, the pad of her thumb moving forward, back. Her teeth ground. She was justified. It was the truth. She hadn't done anything that was a lie.

Both of the girls had a right to know what kind of man had called himself their father.

She would take them in, both of them. Bring them back to Earth, with Heero. Heero would love Duo's children.

This rage had come to her once before, but it had left as fast as it had come. In her mind, she remembered her hand on the gun, finger pulling the trigger. She hadn't killed Une. She hadn't killed anyone. She was not a killer.

Maxwell was a killer. Maxwell was a thief, and a drunk, a pornographer.

He had stolen Heero from her. If it weren't for Maxwell, Heero would come home and share her burden with her. Their children would have life and they too would grow to share the responsibility of caring for the Earthsphere.

Heero had been happy.

Heero would make her happy again.

She stood, her sheer dress flowing over her slender body. It was a body that could not bare children. She knew this. She had not told Heero. Maybe he had found out. Maybe that's why he left.

Maybe  
he  
thinks  
Maxwell  
will  
carry  
the  
children.

Relena's scalp tingled, her breath cut off, and he didn't even feel her fingernails cutting into her palm. It was not right that the world took everything from her, gave her nothing! She had a right to protect herself! Heero was her husband. "Mine. He's mine; you peasant!"

"Madam," her servant asked. "Can I help in anyway, Madam?"

"I want a pistol," she said, turning to face him, her face relaxed, peaceful. She needed to feel her finger pulling the trigger again. She didn't kill anyone before; she wouldn't now. "Did we get a reply from Ms. Maxwell?"

"No, not yet, Madam. Madam does not feel like harming herself, does she?"

"Not at all," Relena said, taking a deep breath, feeling the mania fade back a little. It would be over soon. "Not at all. Just a pistol. Send Ms. Maxwell an invitation to dinner. She and I need to have a conversation. Someone needs to finally protect her."

"Yes, Madam."

Duo ran a hand through still sweaty hair, blinking. "That wasn't quite what I had in mind when you said, 'I want to have sex.'"

"Did I do it wrong," Heero asked, pushing up on one elbow, fingers reaching to brush damp bangs out of Duo's face. "You are very beautiful, more beautiful than any thing I can imagine. Better than a secure facility or a successful upgrade to equipment."

Duo rolled over to face Heero. He felt like he was grinning like an idiot and he didn't even mind when his legs clicked together like metal chopsticks. "You say the prettiest things, 'Ro."

"You haven't called me that, since, since before Marimaia," Heero said softly.

"I haven't been happy with you since before then. You moved out, after, you know."

"I'm sorry."

"You promise, you're really going to stay with me? I mean, Heero, I know you can't really promise, because I don't want you to stay if you're happy, but do you think you might be okay staying?"

"Duo, please, I, I didn't want to kill anymore and there," Heero paused as Duo laid a finger over Heero's lips.

"There are a lot of things we need to talk about. I want to vent like hell on you for not showing up when I was in the hospital. I want to know where the hell you were. I want you to vent about whatever you feel too, and then, I want to come back to where we are now. I'm not a kid anymore and I just want peace, and maybe a little happiness. Okay, a lot of happiness. So, I guess what I'm saying is that we have a lot to talk about, but today, can we just be happy?"

"Of course," Heero said, feeling more composed now that he wasn't trying to compose explanations about where he'd been or why he'd been so lost. "You get what you want. Can I have what I want?"

"I want to carry you to the shower and have sex with you again."

"Damn, Heero. Don't say it like that, uh? Sex is something that happens over a bar or in exchange for a protein pack. What we just did was some kind of meditation that takes a person to heaven. It's called making love."

"So is that a yes?"

Duo grinned, "Yes, but, let me take myself there."

Heero still hadn't seen Duo's legs, felt them as they became very intimate with each other again, but not seen them. "Why are you shy? I understand the mechanics of the prosthetics limbs you use. I understand how they are meant to be completed. I can see what they look like in my mind. They are very sophisticated equipment."

"Heero," Duo said reaching out to take a handful of Heero's tousled brown hair. "Don't be a dumb ass. The last time we made love I had my legs and I wrapped them around your waist while I called your name. It's one thing to know what my legs look like. It's another to see them."

"I want to see, Duo. Please."

Duo shrugged, throwing an arm over his eyes.

In Heero's thoughts, he felt it would be better. He'd look and Duo would feel more secure and accepted. It was just equipment and only partially finished. When Duo's legs were completed, they'd look just like they did when they'd made love that last time before, before the end. No. Not the end.

"Don't be afraid, Duo. I love you. It will be better when there's nothing hidden."

"You'll obsess about getting the reconstruction done," Duo warned.

"Not if you don't want it. I want you as you are."

Duo felt worse than naked as Heero pulled the sheet back. More than making love, this was pulling back the years that separated them, putting Heero truly into the world that Duo lived in.

Duo opened his eyes when Heero's forehead touched his hip. He struggled to sit up a little as hot wet smeared between Heero's face and his own bare skin. "Are they that ugly?"

"No," Heero said, an arm reaching around Duo's thighs, pulling him close, holding him dearly. "They look just exactly as I expect. You could have died. Part of my lover is gone and I wasn't there. I didn't even know. I'm so sorry."

Duo leaned over, getting his arms around Heero's shoulders and they just cried together.


	3. Chapter 3

Soul: Soul Search

by Nix Winter

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Heero Yuy, or Duo Maxwell. I don't even own Relena. I'm just writing for my own enjoyment and the possible enjoyment of the people who frequent this fandom.

Notes: I've given up on chapters. It's been too long since the last one came out and I'm just going to write from where it appeals to me. Thanks for baring with me.

Heero Yuy had been a guest in Duo Maxwell's house for nearly a week. A lot had happened in those six days. What had started as mostly an instinctive urge had mysteriously turned into being alive again. 'Alive, and very confused,' Heero thought.

The first day had been almost like being in the war for Heero. Bleeding and hiding, running on base survival needs, with Duo helping and being his light, while he was the stronger of them, the knight, the fighter, and yet, Duo wasn't the sneak attack thief that he'd been in the war. Heero was still alone, but Duo wasn't.

Love had flashed brightly between them again, as soon as Duo disabled the hard wired mind control network, just like he'd done in the war. They'd made love. And then…. Duo had received a call from his older child. Voices had raised. Alex had chewed on her lip. Duo cried when he was screaming angry. It wasn't the first time Heero had seen that, but this was different somehow. Before, it had been Heero that had made him so angry and Heero had known how to fix it.

It was this, this not knowing, even remotely, how to fix things for Duo, that had made all the years they'd been apart come crashing down on Heero. Apparently they'd crashed pretty hard for Duo as well, who had shut himself up in his office, leaving Heero standing in the hall way. That had been four hours, sixteen minutes, and thirty-five seconds ago.

As far back as Heero could remember, which wasn't all that far, as pretty much everything before his serious reconditioning and training in the war was gone, he'd always known what to do. He knew when to eat, sleep, fight, study, modify his internal programming and even after Duo had cut him off from his programmers, burned out the hardware they'd implanted in his brain, he'd known what to do by watching Duo, by imagining what Duo would do.

Maybe that's where it had all gone wrong, in that last battle, when he'd decided for himself that he'd never kill again. Duo couldn't promise not to kill again, as Duo was already being recruited by the Preventers. Heero would have followed Duo into the Preventers. Not killing was dangerous, reckless even, and he could remember back to the though path that had lead him to believe that he could not be Duo's companion if he could not protect him.

Relena had promised peace. She'd promised to understand and guide him. She'd promised to take care of Duo so that Duo would be safe. Relena lied. Somehow, Heero felt that Duo lied too, but he couldn't say when, or why.

"He's not coming out for a while," Alex said, standing mid way up the stairs, her hair now a very bright blue color and cut much shorter.

Duo's children were very complicated as well, and Heero's lips went tight, the room spinning around him, no matter that he told himself it couldn't be. "I will wait for him."

"Whatever. I'm going to Benny's. We're watching some movies. Tell Dad I'm not gonna do my homework because I don't want to."

"I will tell him, but I don't think acting like that will help you. How will you make good choices if you do not gather enough information about the world?"

"It hasn't helped you and Dad all that much, has it? Maggie's acting like a freak too. As far as I can tell, I'm the only normal one out of all of us and I'll just keep it that way."

"I do not think blue is a normal color," Heero said, feeling even more confused.

"Yeah? And standing perfectly still is normal? Sulking for hours is normal? Maggie's ranting in email to me about how Dad was in the war and he didn't tell us. So what? She's brilliant, but she hadn't figured out that Dad was a grunt in the war? Everyone was. He's just too proud to have us know that he ran around doing pointless shit for some mouthy officer."

"Duo Maxwell was a gundam pilot and a great hero," Heero said, offended that she should think Duo had been some statistic. "At your age he…."

Heero never finished what he was saying. Duo's office door opened with a snap and the fist that followed hit Heero's jaw like a armor piercing bullet hitting six foot of reinforced Gundanium. Heero didn't move, but his eyes went wide and blue and surprised, innocent to the point of ignorance and tears sparkled on his lashes.

Duo's eyes narrowed, violet homicide distilled into a protective force field. "Shut up! Heero!"

Alex dropped the vid disks she had been holding and they cascaded down the stairs like tinkling punctuation. "Dad?"

The hand he'd punched Heero with now holding onto the doorframe, Duo looked from Heero to his daughter and went pale. "Shit."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Duo said, shifting his weight with a loud thump of metal as one leg positioned in the hall, burnished gundanium showing through a rip in his jeans. "It's just the war was the past and I wanted nothing more to do with it."

"What else Dad? I mean, you were a gundam pilot. You probably murdered lots of people and you're sleeping with the President's husband. Anything else you want to tell me about?"

"No," Duo said, chin dragging towards his chest, "I think that's about it. What did you do to your hair? Not that I care, but you know it's banned at the main school center."

"You want to tell me what Maggie was really so upset about?" Alex planted both hands on her hips.

"Maggie got an email from someone with some video of me in the war. She was a little pissed off."

"You think?" Alex turned around and stomped back down the stairs, leaving her videos on the stairs.

"It might not have been wise to withhold information from them," Heero said, feeling another moment of rightness coming up within him, as if he just knew what was right and knew he wanted to do it because he wanted to do it, not because he was being told to do so. "Duo, I want to report Relena. What she did to me was against the law and I'm not above the law, but the law is meant to protect me too. Will you help me do this?"

"Report the fucking president of the Earthsphere for using illegal technology to make he husband love and protect her? I'd rather just kill her."

"I don't want to kill anyone," Heero said, his voice young.

All rage gone from him, eyes full of tenderness as he reached out for Heero's face. "I'm sorry I hit you."

"It didn't hurt," Heero said. "Will you help me?"

"Yeah," Duo said, fingertips gliding across Heero's soft face. "I'm all for law and justice. I'm tired of hiding anyway."

Heero slid closer to Duo, pulling him close, until they were body to body. No child, Heero slid his fingers into Duo's hair and closed into a kiss. Awkward, both of them with lips tight from pride and sense of will. This time it was Duo who softened first, opening as Heero's tongue slipped inside, urging, dancing. This kiss was Heero's kiss, another moment where he felt strong and right, knowing his own mind and will. The kiss melted into a hug, where they just stood there in Duo's house, holding each other, neither of them knowing completely what the future could hold.


End file.
